funny quotes
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funny quotes
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funny quotes
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funny quotes
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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